Spill It Part III

I had a disturbing dream last night. I was living in a flat, not the one where I live now, but similar, and after going away on a trip with my roommates for a few weeks, we come home to discover that there are strangers living in our apartment who rudely inform us that we've lost the apartment and they have moved in. I am flabbergasted. I yell at them that it's impossible, this was MY home! I start looking through my cell phone to call the landlord, but I can't find his name. I futilely go through the contact list on my phone furiously trying to find my landlord, Paul's, phone number. When that isn't working, I decide to call the police. All of this is happening while I, and a few of my roommates (exactly who wasn't clear), are standing in the foyer. I'm yelling that this is unfair, can't be happening! The new tenants are unsympathetic and go about their business. They say, "You left, we moved in." I insist our rent was paid through the end of the month. Finally, my cell phone rings and it's the landlord. By then, I'm furious this is happening, but feel sure he can fix the situation. He listens for a few minutes and hangs up on me. I am devastated. I'm outraged that I have no idea where my belongings are and the new tenants have no explanation. Then, I find myself standing in a parking lot with my other displaced roommates figuring out what to do. Could we sue? Should we still call the police? Where are we going to go?
Then I woke up. It was something like 4:43 a.m. and I'm annoyed that I'm awake in the middle of the night, which means I won't get a full night of sleep. I'm also in shock. It was one of those dreams was realistic and went long enough for me to believe it was really happening — eviction, loss, betrayal.
I made myself go back to sleep. This morning, in the shower, I made the connection that the dream mirrored how I feel about person we shall call J. I've been evicted from his life and heart. My belongings, my accumulated history, with him erased. Someone I thought I could trust betrayed me. And, to top it off, I was replaced without any compassion or advance warning.
It's the same story only with a different setting and different characters.
Clearly, I'm traumatized. As much as I want to get over everything, I'm hurt and I don't feel good about what's happened. It seems wrong like a huge misunderstanding that has escalated into a crisis.
Perhaps the message is that there is no option other than to walk away? Nothing left to save. No one left to reason with.
It's devastating, just devastating.
I've been feeling so powerless lately. During mass on Sunday, I lifted my spirits while praying by deciding that the only way to overcome the end of my relationship was to improve myself as much as possible. The relationship may be gone, but I still have me and I can still make me better. That was comforting for a short while like lighting a candle in a dark room. The light helps a little, but I am still surrounded by darkness.